I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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