You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
