I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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