I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
