who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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