whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
