No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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