Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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