All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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