So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
