Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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