Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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