Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
