It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
