Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
