Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
