I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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