her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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