11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
