weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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