Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
