I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I need a burrito and a hug.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
