Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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