i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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