Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize