i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm always down for nudity.
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