The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
