You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Randomize
