did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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