I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
