Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
