just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
