She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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