took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just cut my nipple shaving
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
