Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
