As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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