If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
