Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
