dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
