The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
