i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He better not be in your backpack
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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