she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
