Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
