Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
