you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
