you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Still dying that you shit outside
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
