Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
