It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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