Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I have fence marks all over my body
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
