She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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