It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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