So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
