It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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