Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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