He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
tell me about the fingering
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
