Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
