i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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