Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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