just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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