I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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