So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
