So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
