ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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