It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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