Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
