I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
