i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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